Tree....

You started out as a tiny seed,
In mother Earth's womb,
You became a part of the world in that moment,
Once you poked your little head out of the ground,
You hoped and prayed they'de let you grow,
Into a big strong tree,
And not yank you out like a weed,
As you kept growing you began to realize,
That life isn't full of bugs and butterflies,
There is love,
And there is hate,
There are times of peace,
And times of war,
As each ring of your life grew,
You got bigger and bigger,
Eventually you got so large,
That you thought you were untouchable,
But you wern't,
They scratched and carved you,
They choped off your branches,
They tried to restrict you,
But you kept growing,
They couldn't stop you,
Eventually they gave up,
And just let you be you,
Those were happy times,
Eventually you became old,
Your leaves started to fall for the last time,
Now you are an empty reminder of what you once were,
Life.

The Place Inside of Me

The lonliest place in the world,
The only place where I can be alone,
The only place where I can be me,
A place where I can scream,
A place where I can cry,
It is a place deep down inside,

Sometimes I dream of leaving this place,
Just to see what it is like,
Are other places as lonely as mine?
What would it be like,
To see things through their eyes,
But it would be impossible,

Sometimes my place seems so small,
But then I discover something new,
There is something every day,
The more I discover,
The lonlier I feel,
I wish I wasn't so alone,

I am traped in my place,
There is no way out,
I want to get away,
From the things that haunt me,
All that has past,
All that will be,

As I sit alone in my place,
I am safe,
From those who hurt,
They can't get into my sanctuary,
They can't get into my prison,
They can't be inside of me.

Window of Life

When I look through my window,
I see my best friend smiling,
We are telling each other secrets,
And we cant stop laughing,
Then I blink,
The picture changes,
Its her again,
This time she is older,
We are sitting in our dorm room,
We are talking about our classes,
I blink,
We are walking through a park,
There is a guy with us,
They are holding hands,
I blink again,
Flowers are falling,
Doves are flying,
She is standing at the alter,
She looks so beautuiful in her dress,
I am standing beside her as the Maid of Honor,
She says the words,
"I do,"
I blink again,
Once again we are in a park,
But this time I have somebody holding My hand,
She introduced us,
He is her husbands best friend,
I smile at this picture,
Then I blink,
We are standing under a tree,
It is perfect,
I am whering a white dress,
He is whering a tuxedo,
As I speak the famous words,
"I do"
She starts to smile,
I blink,
Our children are out in the yard playing,
They are inseparible,
Just like us,
I blink again,
The window is starting to get brittle,
The children have grown and gone,
We both miss them quite alot,
I blink as a tear falls from my eye,
We are visiting hallowed ground,
Our husbands have passed,
They were great men,
This is a sad picture,
I have to blink away the tears,
There we are again,
Sitting in two wheelchairs,
I am racing her,
Down the nursing home hallway,
Just reliving the old days,
I smile and laugh,
Our window is starting to crack,
We are fading,
I am crying as the window breaks,
I close my eyes,
And then I smile as I realize,
No matter what happens,
We will be best friends forever.

What Im Afraid of

• Im afraid of being late.
• Im afraid of hurting people.
• Im afraid of loud noises.
• Im afraid of getting in trouble.
• Im afraid of goats.
• Im afraid of rodents.
• Im afraid of being alone.
• Im scared of global warming.
• Im scared that I might never regain my inspiration to draw.
• Im afraid of my mothers opinion.
• Im afraid of my joints.
• Im afraid I might have to have surgery.
• Im afraid of getting run over.
• Im afraid something might be seriously wrong with me.
• Im scared that my best friend thinks she cant talk to me.
• Im afraid of spending time with my dad.
• Im afraid to talk to him.
• Im afraid of death.
• Im afraid of graveyards.
• Im scared of pain.
• Im scared that Im going to be in pain for the rest of my life.
• Im terrified of LIFE.

Life Sucks

This morning i broke up with my boyfriend. It was really hard. He seemed fine with it, I meen he didnt get emotional at all. I really wanted him to be mad at me, but all he said was "If you need to talk, call me." I was so scared of hurting him.
Today I am leaving school early to go see my Orthapedist about my knee. Im really scared of what he will tell me. Ive never been afraid to go to the doctor befor, I have to go alot because I have a joint disorder. But this time im terrified. The last time anything hurt this badly I ended up having surgery. Im really scared. Im afraid of alot of things lately.

Jamie Lynn Spears

Ok, so as many of you know Jamie is pregnant. Its all over the news! I know she is a celebrity and all but this kind of shit happens every day. Apparently the Spears Family got paid $1-million dollars for exclusivity rights by Ok! magazine. Its retarded. Almost 750,000 teenage girls get pregnant every year in the US. Woop dee flipping dooo, one more really makes that much of a difference. And besides its not like its that surprising, take her big sister for example. Im surprised it didnt happen sooner. This whole thing is just being blown WAY out of proportion.

Christmas Break

Im very unshure as to if I enjoyed my christmas break or not. As a whole it was ok, but there were some bad parts. First of all my boyfriend was in Florida the entire time so I couldnt see him. And yesterday, when he got back, we got to take a walk to Main St. but he didnt ask his mom if he could come over, so when she found out she was REALLY angry at him. I havnt talked to him since so i have no idea what happend. Its really making me quite deppressed and I didnt sleep last night because I was waiting for him to call. :(
A good part of my break was that I finally got a new cell phone, Its soooo awesome, its a double flip phone, its really awesome. And I got a haircut, I donated 12 inches of hair to Locks Of Love. Which is an organization that makes wiggs for cancer patiants, mostly children.
Idk im just really confused.