I must admit. I havnt posted on here in almost a year. Alot has happened. I got a new boyfriend whom i staid with for 7 months. We spent every day together, it was rather strangling at times. I felt very suffocated, I did things with him that i truely wish i hadnt he is a good guy. Its just now that i look back i cringe at what we did together. It wasnt really bad stuff eaither, just stuff that girls sometimes do with boys. idk. But Im really happy now without him. I get kinda lonely though, cause i was with him all the time. And now i dont really have anybody. But im working on that, there are a couple of guys that i kinda like at my school. I am gonna make a good choice though, i dont want to choose somebody just because im lonely, i want to be able to get along with him.
I also lost a friend. She didnt die, but she kinda dosnt want me to be her friend anymore. This happend quite recently acctually. She had been my best friend for 2 years. And we got in a fight. Ever since she started dating this new guy, she has really changed. And she has started being really really mean to people now. I couldnt handle it. And idk... It was a stupid fight. But she dosnt care. She hates me. And i miss her. I dont really have that many friends. I guess its good though. She didnt really care about me that much. She wasnt a very good friend to me. I spent most of the time caring for her. We were going to apply to the North Carolina School of the Arts together. But not anymore. Im still applying. Gosh i miss having her as a friend. She was kinda mean to me sometimes. But she was really funny, and she could make me laugh when i was really depressed. And she understood me, i understood her. And i miss that. gosh idk this isnt really much of a blog. its more of me stating whats going on in my head...
But now that im all alone, Ive been able to spend more time with my family. Im starting to really get along with my sister now. We used to fight alot, but now i get to hang out with her sometimes. Its really nice. Before when i was so tied down with my EX i was never home. I lost touch with my family. I didnt know them. But now, i spend all my time with them. Its kinda sad, cause i dont have a life. But sometimes its kinda nice. idk.
Oh and im really getting into my art now. I dont have anyone depending on me, so i can really focus on my art. I love it. I will post some more some other time, idk why im even saying this. Nobody really cares, and nobody probably read this. Its just one more blog from all of the millions of others. why would anybody read it?
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