When He Left

When my Dad left us two summers ago it was a really rough time. My mom didnt have many friends she could talk to about it, so she let it all out on me. She would tell me every little thing that he did wrong. The thing that struck me the hardest was when she told me that he left because he wasnt ready to be a father. He had been my dad for 14 years and he was just then giving up on us, right when it was starting to get rough. It still pains me today to even think about it. I dont know if I will ever be able to forgive him for that. And I dont even know if it was true. Even if it wasnt true, it still hurts.
He comes over every morning to take my siblings to school. Because we live so close to my high school, I walk. Every morning i am nice to him and i pretend that I still love him. But when I leave for school and am walking away, all I do is think to myself that its stupid of me to keep pretending...
When my siblings go to his house every sunday, I never go. I hate it there. I hate the fact that he isnt here. He lives in a little blue house, that has two rooms, a kitchen and a bedroom. Its so freaking small that whenever I go there I cant get away from him. I hate it.
He got a new girlfriend. She has a big gap in her teeth. I dont like her. She has a bird, my little siblings love her. She keeps sending me gifts trying to win over my attention. But i dont care, I hate her. I hate the way my dad smiles when she is around, he didnt smile much when he lived with us. I have only met her once. It was after the christmas parade, and i was walking back to the school in my uniform after marching down the street with the band. I didnt see her and my dad because i was talking to a friend of mine. They jumped out of the crowd and my dad introduced her to me. I didnt like her from the start. He tries to bring her to all of my school functions, and then they want to talk to me afterwards. But I ignore them. It hurts so much to see him with her...
I hate my Dad. But I keep on pretending I dont.